This is life.: Dear Sister Hafen,

"You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. you are assigned to labor in the Philippines Cauayan Mission....You should report to the Provo Missionary Training Center on Wednesday, June 19, 2013. You will prepare to preach the gospel in the Tagalog language."

In my stake president interview before I got my call, my stake president said "You are going to be incredible, Sister Hafen.... Even though I just met you, you are someone who has a happy disposition, am I right?" I responded yes and we continued the interview. "A mission call is inspired. How many times in your life are you going to get direct revelation through a prophet of God? Probably never again. This time of your life is incredible." I told myself that I knew my call would come from The Lord. But after it came, my faith started to shake.

Can I be honest? .... it's been a rough few days. The fact that I am leaving on a mission is unreal. If I can say 4 words that have never been more true in my life... they are "The Adversary is real." I thought I knew what it was like to be brought down by Satan and I KNOW that Satan is a piece of crap... But I didn't know how badly he didn't want me to go on a mission until the week I was waiting for my call. SO much doubt filled my mind.

"WHAT AM I EVEN DOING? SERIOUSLY?" "DO I EVEN KNOW IF THIS CHURCH IS TRUE?" "I LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYTHING IS ANYMORE." <----- i="">seriously. these exact thoughts ran through my head.

Hundreds and thousands of these mission call letters get sent out every week, and I've probably heard over 30 of them read out loud by friends, family, and freak, even random people on YouTube.

But what's funny, is that the last paragraphs of the letter often times don't' get read. We read the first part and freak out, and then that's it. We call everyone we know, post on Instagram, Facebook, EVERYWHERE. I got my call 3 days ago and read the rest of that page for the first time a couple hours ago. Here it is:

"Your purpose will be to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end. As you serve with all your heart, might, and strength, the Lord will lead you to those who are prepared to be baptized.

The Lord will reward you for the goodness of your life. Greater blessings and more happiness you have yet experienced await you as you humbly and prayerfully serve the Lord in this labor of love among His children. We place our confidence in you and pray that the Lord will help you become an effective missionary."

These last two paragraphs give me real peace, comfort, and hope.

The Lord knows us personally. He knows my mom, Miss Suzy Q. on the corner, the homeless man by the freeway, the President of the United States, and he knows me. He knows I'm supposed to go to the Philippines and he knows that I am capable of learning the language (not on my own of course. HA!)

If you don't know if God knows you, ask him in faith. Ask him a couple times. Be diligent.. he'll answer you.

I cannot wait to begin my "labor of love" by preaching the gospel and bringing the Filipino people unto Christ.